What Does a Forum Conversation Look Like?


Inside the personal general forum, discussions take place with everyday, average, people, just like YOU, from all over the United States, who believe that they might have a personal problem. They either aren't quite sure or just need some professional guidance and/or a professional to talk with about their situation to help evaluate it for them.

In the open personal forum, you will be able to see all the questions asked by other members and the professional answers provided by pitalk.com staff regarding possible solutions to those perceived problems. Maybe some of these folks have a problem similar to what you are experiencing and just reading both the questions posed and the answers given, will really help you with your situation.

This is an example of an actual question asked, along with the actual answer provided, that was asked in the past by a client.




Personal Group Forum -- Am I Crazy? - (Sad Mary) 07-22-05 [Msgid=881799]

Dear Jim

I'm not real sure what to ask or even how to proceed with asking this question. I never thought I'd be in this situation and I am just sick to my stomach about what I think is going on. I've gone as long as I can with sleepless nights, and that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's like somebody has a knife stuck in my stomach and they are turning it slowly.

My husband and I have been married for 9 years and we have two children, ages 5 and 7 years old. Thank God the kids don't know anything is wrong but I'm beginning to think that they can sense something too. I thought we had a good marriage and were happy until about a year ago now. My husband got a promotion and that meant more money, but it also meant longer working hours for him and more time away from the family.

At first he just was coming home about an hour or two later than he did before, and once in a while had to take an overnight trip to the company's home office for a couple of days for meetings. That was alright and I understood, but then about six months ago or so, he started coming home three to four hours later at night, every night, and his over night trips became more frequent too. At that same time, he started to want less to do with me in the bedroom, and wouldn't talk much when he was home about anything. He would get phone calls and he would take the portable phone into the other room, close the door, and then talk to whoever was on the phone so no one else could hear.

I love my husband very much but I can't continue like this for much longer. I'm afraid I'm losing him to another woman but he keeps denying that there is anything going on with any other woman and when I ask him about his changed ways, he just tells me that it's my imagination and nothing is wrong. He says his loss of sexual desire with me is just from pressures at work but I know him too well and I don't believe that anymore. I haven't found any evidence like you hear of some women finding, like lipstick on his shirts or anything, but I just know because I know how he was before and it's like he's a colder, different, man now. Even with our kids he's different. It's like his mind is somewhere else.

I guess that's what I'm asking by joining this forum. What can I do to find out before I go completely crazy over this situation? I can't stand this anymore and I'm about to explode. What do I do if what I suspect is true?

Date=07-22-05 [Msgid=881799] [LoginName=Sad Mary] [IP Addr= 12.142.148.xxx]

-- Personal Group Forum Re; Am I Crazy? - (AskJim) 07-22-05 [Msgid=881799]

Dear Mary:

Your situation is not unique by far and we've heard that same basic story over the years, literally hundreds of times.

You are right in that you can't live like this much longer, but more importantly, you SHOULD NOT HAVE TO! Your mind is painting you pictures that, right or wrong, are horrible both emotionally and physically. You owe it to yourself to find out the truth once and for all. It's important for the children too, but right now, and first off, YOU are the most important person in this situation. Without you thinking correctly and calmly, they'll have no one they can depend on.

Now, what you can do? Forget confronting your husband again. If what you suspect is true, and I believe it very well may be from what you've said, he won't tell you the truth anyway. In fact, don't mention it to him again until you have your answers. The less he suspects you're concerned and possibly looking to get answers, the less likely he'll be to change anything right now. If he is having an affair, you want him to continue until you have your proof, and then you can proceed with whatever you decide to do.

I'd suggest that you contact a professional investigator in your area that has an honest reputation and tell him that you want a short surveillance performed on your husband to document his activities and who he's with. From what you're saying, it shouldn't take long to find out the answers you're looking for because he appears to be getting more blatant with it. That's another reason I don't want you to confront him anymore about this either. I don't want him to deviate from what he's doing, AT ALL.

The investigator should be able to tell you rather quickly what the results are and you can then decide whether you want to get more evidence and let the investigator do more work, or just use the evidence that investigator already obtained for you. I'd also suggest that you may want to buy and read my short book about hiring a Private Investigator, to help you with that aspect too.

Once you contact one or two professional investigators, if you have any questions about which one to hire, how long to have them work on this case for you, or any questions at all, just post another question and we'll be glad to answer any questions you might have. Remember, you're part of the pitalk.com membership and family now, so you are not alone and we work with you as a team and as "family", 24/7, for as long as you need us. We're here for you, and with you, even after this situation is resolved too, if you want us to be.



Date=07-22-05 [Msgid=881799] [LoginName=AskJim] [IP Addr= 64.147.148.xxx]